The curse of life
by A lost child
Summary: The Uchiha clan is cursed and without their mysterious soul mate they die, finding them is hard enough especially if fate decides to complicate things even more. ShisuixYukine,ObiKaka,ItaDei,Sasuke x? WARNING: AU, YAOI(boyxboy), drugs, violence, language, abuse, rape, smoking, alcohol, self harm, suicide, sexual content, underage, mental illnesses, possible MPreg
1. Broken

**Hello everyone and welcome to the first chapter!**

 **First things first: I don't own any of the characters or any of the anime/manga based content**

 **Now that this is done here chapter specific WARNINGS: drugs, rape, abuse, self harm, mentally ill behavior, suicide, language, yaoi fluff**

 **I think that's about it, some of the warnings may seem unnecessary but I wanted to be on the safe side**

 **Enjoy and I hope you like it!**

* * *

~Broken~

It's the 21st century, ninjas were rare nowadays because the technology could easily solve a lot of problems. Schools mostly didn't teach jutsus anymore but modern subjects. Iryo-Ninjas got replaced by doctors, the police used guns and tasers instead of jutsus, new companies were developed and quickly had a lot of power and influence. Only the most powerful ninjas were left, some clans still learned their progeny jutsus and the doujutsus are still inherited as well as the bijuus still existed, that was the only real reason ninjas still existed. To seal the bijuus into human bodies and to control the doujutsu users. The whole ninja world changed and at some point something very strange happened. Due to certain circumstances some males actually possess the ability to give birth. No one knows how it happened or when exactly, all that's known is that there is a chromosome abnormality that made this happen.

One of those males is the famous Sasuke Uchiha, unfortunately that's not the only abnormality of his. The Uchiha clan's curse is unknown by the most outsiders, only a few close friends know about it and some doctors, lawyers and such. The reason is that it would be dangerous to tell someone there is a mate curse over every Uchiha male even the real uke like Sasuke were affected.

The Uchiha curse affects every generation, every single male in the clan, because a certain someone, who often gets called a god by strangers due to his unbelievable skills in multiple subjects, managed to piss off someone who you better not make your enemy, the exact circumstances are unknown however and since no one really trusted Madara anyway not even the Uchiha knew if the reason he told the ones who asked why they were cursed are really true.

Nonetheless every Uchiha has to find his soul mate or else…they die. Depending on how close they are related to Madara, the age they die is either 17 or 24. If the Uchiha actually finds his mate, which can be either female or male, they get to live a long and happy life most of the time. The moment they touch for the first time, their memories exchange and in some cases they are also able to talk through telepathy after some time or in very rare cases from the very beginning. Luckily the mates are made for each other, the only problem is that _'made for each other'_ has differences, therefor there are 3 types of reactions when the Uchiha and the mate first meet: harmony, they are made for each other but may have some differences; anger, they are identical; panic, they are the complete opposite. Though no matter which of these reactions is reached, the boundary is perfect…mostly. Like every other curse not even the Uchiha curse is perfect and there are so called anomalies, they mostly appear along with the anger reaction and even if it's rare, the last few generations showed an unnaturally high number of anomalies which made the family pretty much break apart. No one really talked to each other anymore and most parents abandoned their children as soon as possible, as well as there were a few more children without parents that just appeared in front of the houses of the few Uchiha that still had at least some kind of stable relationship to their mate, than there should be, however that was only the case if the newborn was male, since the curse didn't affect the female part of the clan. Since there were only a handful of females in the clan left most people assumed that if there really were female children that weren't the outcome of a married Uchiha couple but the product of a one night stand or affair, they were probably killed as soon as they were born or maybe the father of the unborn child somehow convinced their secret lover to get an abortion. However the youngest generation of the clan was different, even if their parents obviously didn't care about anything anymore they still had hope in them. Sure there were a few other youngsters in the clan but no one really believed they would find their mate since they got all their hopes destroyed by their parents already. Therefor Madara himself let the 4 males who he believed would be able to make the clan survive and as powerful as it used to be, considering the fact that two of them already found their mates he believed he made the right decision, live in the main mansion, his mansion. Two of them already grew up here since they were one of the children that didn't even knew their parents, he raised one of them as his own son and even if the other grew up under the same circumstances he had never felt the need to see him as a father nor uncle, Madara simply was Madara to him. Said two children were Obito and Shisui, even if only Obito saw the raven god as his father and their relationship was without doubt like father and son, the two young Uchiha still grew up as brothers. A few years ago two other young ravens joined to live in the mansion, one of them more mature than he should be considering his age, the other far more innocent looking than he really was, but of course Itachi didn't know that the looks of his little brother weren't reflecting his personality anymore, since he believed Sasuke would always stay his cute little baby brother for the rest of his life.

Back to the curse however it worked different for Madara, since the one that cursed them clearly underestimated the oldest raven's abilities, he was able to trick the curse. Not interested in something as primitive as love he managed to change a few aspects about the curse that pretty much made him immortal as long as he was careful. He could pick a mate once in 100 years, those were counted from the moment he chose the female who would stay by his side for…well… _her_ lifetime, after his mate died he would wait a few years to give others the illusion that he had feelings and needed time before picking his new mate. Honestly he didn't care at all about the 4 women that he had been married to so far, but to keep his high status he had to pretend he was at least somehow human. Lately however there was something off with the raven god and his beloved son started to get suspicious, Madara's last mate died a few years before Obito was even born, he didn't know how much time exactly his father had left to pick a mate but he assumed it wasn't that much which was more than strange since the raven god didn't like neither waiting nor risking anything if it wasn't necessary.

These and many other things would lead to a lot of trouble that was about to happen and soon it would show if the young Uchiha and their clan leader were able to handle it. As for now it was unclear who would become stronger and who would break, all that was known was that the upcoming events, which none of the involved people was aware of, would turn their worlds upside down.

* * *

 _7 years earlier…_

 _Three young raven haired males were gathered in the large living room of the mansion, one of them was barely old enough to be called a teen, regardless of the still soft features of the child's face his expression showed just how mature he was already. He looked at the taller raven next to him with fear and tears in his eyes, trying his best to hide how he really felt, not able to take his eyes off his cousin, who was also his best friend._

 _The tall raven himself was staring at the clock with wide eyes, counting every second that passed, knowing what would happen when it showed a certain time, the time he was terrified of, the exact second of his 17_ _th_ _birthday. He was rocking back and forth not able to calm himself anymore, no matter what the others said, he knew this was it, his very last minutes of life before the curse would kill him. Sure he didn't show any signs of his upcoming death, but he cling to the thought that that was just an anomaly. Even if he was perfectly sane and didn't show any signs of his body falling apart either, he was sure this was it._

 _His older cousin, who always was like a brother to him was rubbing his back, an attempt to comfort the more and more tensing raven. Obito didn't believe in the idea of an anomaly, sure there was a first time for everything but no one ever died without showing the symptoms of breaking apart both physically and mentally, starting about one year before their dead line. It was simply impossible, the curse wouldn't allow one of the main effects to disappear because of some anomaly, he could still understand the fear of his cousin. Living past your 17_ _th_ _birthday without your mate wasn't exactly the best thing for an Uchiha, it only meant that the symptoms would be crueler before their death._

 _The shaking of the tall raven who sat in between his two cousins got worse when the clock showed 12:09. One minute left. He couldn't take it any longer and hot tears started to trail down his cheeks as he clenched his eyes shut. His sobs were heartbreaking, luckily neither Sasuke nor Kakashi could see him but he couldn't convince Itachi and Obito to leave him, he didn't want anyone to see him like this. The never ending flow of tears and the sobs that started to sound more like screams slowly made the mask of the remaining two fade as the first tear trailed down the cheek of the youngest. The seconds passed by and even if it was only a minute it felt like a whole lifetime and then…the clock hit 12:10._

 _Everything froze, tears kept flowing but a painful silence filled the room, two and a half pairs of scarlet eyes all stared at the same thing. The clock. Suddenly the silence was broken as a hysterical laugh escaped Shisui, the raven that was sure he would die just seconds ago was laughing and smiling, it didn't take long for the other two to let out a sigh. They hugged his cousin who was still laughing, he couldn't believe he survived, he didn't know why. Even if it meant a more painful death, he didn't care, because at least for now, he was able to be happy, he could enjoy creating new memories with his cousins and he could see the day Itachi would find his mate, he could see Sasuke grow up at least a little longer, he could go to school, he could find a job and god knows what else. He could_ live.

 _"I told you…I told you I won't allow you to die!" The raven with only one sharingan left said smiling at his cousin, tears of happiness filling his eyes, they all laughed at that comment and Shisui let a hand travel through his raven hair before resting his head in his hands._

 _The peace however was short when the tall raven's features began to show some kind of discomfort and he suddenly clenched his eyes shut. A low growl was heard from the male as he pulled his hair, it didn't take a genius to tell he was in some kind of pain and then suddenly his tall body curled up into a small ball, a loud scream was heard and the other two ravens couldn't believe their eyes. The reason of Shisui's suffering started to show as bruises appeared on his entire body, the scream became louder and he curled up even more, pulling his hair with what seemed like all his strength. One could only see the dark bruises on Shisui's arms and around his neck but the two ravens knew that they were covering his whole body. Not knowing what to do the younger hovered next to the screaming Uchiha while the older shook him trying to get an answer from him as to what was happening. But the sound of his screams was deafening and Shisui couldn't understand what the other said, neither was he in any condition to even realize he was talking to him or shaking him. The pain devoured every single piece of him and it felt like he was burning from the inside, he didn't know why or how this was happening, all he knew was that he felt every single bruise forming on his body, he felt everything. The large purple spots forming everywhere, the cuts that started covering his back, but nothing, not even the marks that showed on his neck and face were as terrible as the burning sensation that he felt in a very sensitive area…he felt like something was tearing him apart, over and over again, whatever it was that made him feel like this, it felt like he was getting the pain of endless beatings and as if he would've been raped god knows how often. Then suddenly it stopped, the pain was still there but he knew it was over. There wouldn't be more. The torture was over. His screaming stopped as well as his crying, it seemed like he had no tears left. His throat felt sore, his eyes burned and his whole body was screaming in pain, but Shisui wasn't able to scream anymore, even if it hurt like hell, at least he knew the main part of his suffering was over. He lay there for what felt like forever before he spoke, his voice almost inaudible, his eyes completely emotionless and staring at something that seemed to be far away._

 _"Madara…" Was all he could say and instantly his older cousin left the room to find said man. Shisui could see the younger raven's lips move but was too lost to hear what he was saying, he didn't want to hear his voice, because if his mind returned to where his body was he would have to face what has just happened, he was afraid that the terrible pain that devoured his soul would come back. He could see the terrified face of his cousin right in front of him, only inches away from his own, he could feel his hot breath as he spoke, smell the salty tears that kept running down his face no matter how hard he probably tried to hold them back. It felt like seconds that Obito left but he heard two people getting closer to him and just now did he realize that he sat back up, ignoring the stinging pain that shot through his body as his whole weight rested on his abused backside. He blinked a few times and very slowly his soul that was now tainted from the unbearable pain returned to his body. After a few more seconds he was fully aware of his surroundings again: Itachi standing a few feet away still looking at him worried with blood shot eyes but not crying anymore, Obito sitting next to him resting his hand on his back again to give him comfort, barely touching him not wanting to cause any more pain to the other, and Madara, standing in front of him and looking down to the boy that was covered in bruises, an emotionless face like always, however his eyes showed hurt for only a moment, maybe concern, care…even love. The unusual appearance of feelings however faded soon, so soon Shisui wasn't even sure it really happened._

 _"I believe you want me to explain what just happened to you" The raven god spoke in his low intimidating voice that always sounded somewhat bored, what he probably was, when you get to live as long as Madara you have most likely seen everything already. Shisui nodded slightly, his half lidded eyes looked directly into the rinnegan, not knowing what kind of answer awaited him, but he didn't believe it could get any worse so he wasn't afraid. "If an Uchiha male gets to live up to their 24_ _th_ _birthday, there is a very low chance that they have a much deeper bond with their mate, the body of the Uchiha and the mate are connected, everything that happens to the mate's body will happen to the Uchiha's as well, however this connection is one sided, the Uchiha's injuries won't transfer to the mate. The chances to get such a connection are about 1:100 and it is necessary to survive the 17_ _th_ _birthday, as you can tell there weren't many people who got to inherit this kind of connection, you are the 3_ _rd_ _to be exact. In your case however, different from the other two that had that kind of connection, it seems more like a punishment than a gift. Before you ask, none of the two is alive anymore so you can't talk to them, even if they were you wouldn't be able to since neither of them was as unfortunate as you are. Every bruise that your mate ever got is now visible on you, from now on however you will get them at the same time. By the looks of it I believe you are able to tell now what gender your mate is, if it happens to be a female your body will most likely ache in a place you don't even have." At some point of the conversation tears started flowing down Shisui's cheeks again and apart from Madara everyone present showed the same facial expression, which was a mixture of hurt, pity and disbelief. "I believe you know what will happen if your mate dies, so your dead line from now on is either your 24_ _th_ _birthday or the death of your mate." Shisui swallowed thickly at those words, all this was too much for him, but even if it was too much, he had to stay strong, his mate was enduring this for god knows how long, obviously without any help, so he had no right to pity himself. He needed to find him._

A boy…

 _Shisui thought to himself. Somehow he always knew it, assumed it, hoped for it, but now he could say it for sure. It was definitely without any doubt a boy. In this terrible, horrifying and absolutely painful situation the simply thought of knowing this little detail about his mate made the raven smile, it was only a weak smile, showing way to many different emotions, and he truly hated all of this, but he still smiled._

I will find you…no matter what…I promise…

* * *

 _Present time_

His eyes shot open, the white skin of the raven looked even paler than usually and by the way he was laying in his bed his body seemed like someone sucked every single drop of life out of him. The fading bruises had an unnatural green yellowish color, his ribcage was clearly visible even through the fabric of his black shirt. The cuts on his arms were mostly healed except for the newer ones, since there wasn't much space left on his forearms the cuts now started showing up on his upper arms, when checking those he knew that once again his mate's cutting was the reason that he woke up, since he discovered a new cut with droplets of blood flowing out of it. After a few minutes the raven could feel the sucked out energy return to his body and he started to sit up on his bed, used to the stinging sensation that shot through his lower half whenever he sat up, glad however that it wasn't as bad as it used to be. Shisui noticed that something was off, he couldn't tell what it was and honestly didn't wanted to know, since it was most likely something bad. No matter how much he ignored it, the feeling got worse with every passing second and soon his vision was but a blurry mess, his head felt weird, it didn't exactly hurt but it felt like he was drifting into unconsciousness.

 _Did they drug him again?_ The raven thought to himself, but he knew that wasn't the case, he knew this had nothing to do with his mate.

Everyone in the house respected Shisui for being able to keep his sanity somehow, not allowing himself to give in to the symptoms of the curse, but it cost him everything he got. He still couldn't do anything against his body falling apart, no matter how much he ate, he kept losing weight and eventually he had given up on eating at some point since his body didn't profit from it anymore anyway and the feeling of hunger was long gone. The Uchiha was nothing more but a living corpse, he only had one month left to find his mate, the chances were however nonexistent. He searched everywhere, but it was like his mate didn't even exist. No one ever even heard of a boy that had the exact same scars as him. He tried everything he could, but it was hopeless, if his mate wouldn't show up by himself he would die.

The feeling he had was now slowly taking over his body and he did all he could to fight it but he had no strength left, so he gave in to that feeling and let his body be taken over. He didn't knew what would happen next, but he knew that this feeling was the curse that took all of his control and would now shatter his sanity into pieces, he would have either a huge black out or would be watching everything the curse made him do. Honestly, Shisui preferred the first option, if he lost control over his actions and did horrible things he wished that at least he wouldn't remember hurting someone. He didn't want to see how this cruel curse made him hurt his family, friends, even strangers, but he assumed he wouldn't be lucky enough to black out. Closing his eyes he took one last deep breath before giving up completely and let the insanity get access to his mind and body, giving him sick murderous ideas the second he did and a twisted laugh echoed through the walls of the raven's bedroom.

* * *

The long haired raven and his mate broke their passionate kiss as they heard the soft knock on the door. Itachi sighed but he knew it was important, he made it clear to everyone that he didn't wanted anyone to bother neither him nor his mate when they were in their bedroom, unless it was something really important. Of course the rule was ignored every once in a while but no one would dare to disturb them so early in the morning for something meaningless, at least not anymore. It took a while to earn everyone's respect and even longer until his two cousins stopped treating him like a child, but now he was fully respected as an adult and they knew that Itachi's personality changed a lot since he met his mate.

With a sigh the raven crawled out of his bed and walked towards the door, whoever waited on the other side started to get impatient as a second knock was heard, louder this time. Not long after the male opened the door and found a silver haired man standing there, a worried look on his face, the annoyed features of the raven softened as it was obvious something has happened.

"Come with me, we need to talk" The raven didn't like the sound of Kakashi's voice, it sounded alarmingly worried and made Itachi feel uneasy. He nodded and told the other to wait so he could get fully dressed since all he was wearing were boxers and the sweat pants he had been sleeping in. After he grabbed a random shirt out of his closet along with a black hoodie and put them on he gave his mate a quick kiss and told the blond haired beauty to go back to sleep, since he assumed he wouldn't be back too soon, he left the room and went downstairs with the silver haired man, who didn't even bother to put his mask on today. They walked silently towards the living room, the depressed look on the older one's face increasing the uneasiness the raven felt, especially the fact that he didn't even dare to look into his eyes made Itachi worried.

"What happened?" He finally asked as they reached the desired destination, even if the raven tried his best to keep up his mask his voice was softer and quieter than he intended it to be. After closing his eyes and taking a deep breath Kakashi finally looked at him, he opened his mouth but closed it soon after without saying a word, he took another deep breath and bit his lower lip, his expressions clearly showed the pain the following words would cause him.

"Shisui…" The raven felt himself tense, but he tried his best to keep the calm act as long as possible, patiently he waited for the other to continue. "I think he…gave up…"

The first thing Itachi's face showed was confusion, as if Kakashi would talk a different language, not a single word he said made sense.

 _Shisui….gave…up?_

No, that couldn't be it, he must have been hearing things. How could Shisui, his _cousin_ , his _best friend_ , the Shisui he grew up with, ever even think about something like giving up? Slowly Itachi's brain started to process what he just heard and as soon as the words sink in, his eyes widen in horror and his jaw dropped slightly open. The pitying expression Kakashi gave him only made it worse and when he tried to reach out to the raven to give his arm a comforting squeeze, Itachi only started to shake his head, not much but way too fast.

"I know this is hard…we all knew the day would come where Shisui wouldn't be strong enough to fight the symptoms anymore…it's a miracle he was able to stay sane until now...but no one can-"

"No!" The raven just couldn't believe what the other tried to tell him. "You're lying! Shisui would never-"

"Itachi it's a curse! No matter how hard we want to deny it it's still a curse! And no one not even Shisui is able to fight off the symptoms forever! He is strong! The strongest person I ever met! But everyone breaks! No one was ever able to fight for so long! No one ever had enough will to torture themselves for so long! The curse is cruel Itachi! Fighting the symptoms caused Shisui more pain than accepting them, but he still did it because he wanted to stay strong! For us, for his mate, for everyone! He endured all this pain and acted like he was fine all this time!" Kakashi was now holding the shocked raven by his shoulders, trying his best to make his voice sound somewhat calming but he couldn't be careful with Itachi now. The raven needed to face reality. He needed to accept the fact that his cousin, his best friend, the person he was looking up to for as long as he could think was now broken. That not even someone as strong as Shisui can endure everything. The tall raven had been through enough, he proved how unbelievably strong he was, but this was enough. Kakashi saw that he suffered, even if he played it off and acted like he was just fine and could handle it, the silver haired man knew that he was about to break, and he honestly had earned all of his respect for being able to control the curse for so long, most Uchiha gave up nine to six months before their deadline, but Shisui actually tortured himself so much that he made it until now. One month. It was one month until his deadline and he was able to control it until now. This was way more than everyone else would ever manage to handle, even Madara respected Shisui for enduring it for so long.

"You're lying!" The raven shouted and pushed away the other's hands, his face distorted in pain and disbelief. Silence filled the room, Kakashi knew he didn't need to say anything else and that the raven would accept it, even if it hurt, it hurt the older too, but he knew that this was especially hard for the still young raven. The scarlet eyes of the long haired male were fixated on the ground, he didn't want to accept what he just heard, but he couldn't deny it, he knew too damn well that what the other said was the truth, he knew this day would come sooner or later, but even if it was much longer than expected, he still wished his cousin had more time, because now that his sanity was gone it started to feel real. The curse. That Shisui would die. The loss of his cousins sanity made all this become much more real.

 _Everything…I would do everything…please…please…_

Only when he felt the arms of the silver haired man embracing him did he realize he said it out loud, but it didn't matter. This was not the time to fake anything, to cling to some stupid mask, this was way more important than getting his goddamn ego pushed because he was able to pretend he didn't feel anything, he wasn't Madara after all. No matter how cold and emotionless Itachi had become through the years to keep the image of an unbreakable male no one would ever dare to mess with, it was nothing but an act. A mask. An illusion. To protect his mate. His brother. Himself. Because he couldn't forget it. He couldn't forget the screams. The helplessness. Because he would never be able to erase the image of what happen that day. The day of Shisui's 17th birthday. That was the day Itachi promised himself one thing: He would never allow anyone or anything to cause his loved ones so much pain ever again. And there he was, trying his best not to cry, embracing his cousin's mate, desperately searching for comfort while his best friend was suffering. He failed. Once again he let someone dear to him get hurt.

"Where is he?" It was barely louder than a whisper when the raven spoke, the lump in his throat making it even harder to speak and making his voice raspy.

"Are you sure you can handle it?" Kakashi took a step back to look at the younger and gave him a concerned look. He wasn't sure if it was a good idea to let him see Shisui in this state but he couldn't forbid him either, all he could do was make sure the raven really wanted this.

"I have a right to see him…" He mumbled, lifting his gaze to look directly into the others eyes, a sigh escaped the silver haired man and he nodded slightly before walking towards the room were his mate tried his best to keep Shisui from hurting himself.

Once again it was silent as they crossed the hallway that led to the bedroom and Kakashi saw how the other tensed more and more the closer they got. Like every other bedroom in the mansion, Shisui's was also sound proof, so they had no idea what was awaiting them even as they stood right in front of the door. After a few moments of hesitation the younger finally grabbed the door knob with a shaky hand and entered the room, at least he wanted to, but what he saw made him freeze in the doorframe.

At first he didn't quite realize the situation, but it didn't take long until he became fully aware of what was happening before his eyes. Obito hovering above Shisui, pinning his arms on either side of his head, trying to fixate him completely on the mattress by kneeling on the other's legs. Itachi's intrusion caught their attention as both their eyes were on him now, but what he saw under Obito wasn't Shisui anymore. Those widened blood thirsty eyes that burned into the back of his head and the crazy look they had were the first thing the young Uchiha noticed. The insane grin showed his snow white teeth and especially pointed out the slightly longer and sharp eyeteeth Shisui always had, but never really stood out, at least until now. The sick twisted laugh that echoed through the walls made Itachi sweat in fear and he felt like the temperature dropped several degrees. He noticed a new cut on his upper arm and a few on his wrists, luckily neither of them looked too deep and the ones on his wrists were probably created today by Shisui himself, the younger raven was glad his other cousin could stop his best friend from successfully slicing them open. No matter how glad he was, no matter how often he told himself it could be worse, he was shocked, afraid…terrified. To see his best friend like this, the one person Itachi knew that was always smiling, laughing, cheering everyone up, to see the strongest person he had ever met like this simply destroyed something deep within him. It shattered the little part that always told him that everything can be endured into pieces. This right in front of him was the proof. Even the strongest man can be destroyed. All this time he was able to ignore the condition of the other's body, he kept telling him he was fine with a soft calming smile on his face, but now he saw he wasn't fine at all. He knew the bruises were there, the cuts were there, that Shisui had lost a lot of his weight, but now he was finally able to see it. The abused body that screamed for help, his deadly pale skin, the sunken cheeks, the dark circles under his eyes, the way too skinny body of the tall raven, the bruises of several beatings the other's mate must've been through, the damp hair, the countless cuts. If the curse wouldn't keep him alive he would've died of starvation a long time ago and Itachi finally started to wonder how someone could stay mentally strong for so long with such a weak body. He looked like his body died months ago, every normal person would've given up long ago only due to the abuse, but his friend kept fighting, he kept fighting even if his body was already broken. The next thing to happen, finally destroyed what was sticking the pieces of the young raven together, the last pieces of his mask, but after what happened next, he didn't give a single fuck about what the other's thought about him anymore, because he truly was terrified at what his best friend said.

" _Hurt me~!_ " The devilish voice sang. " _Ne, Obito~! Hurt me~!_ "

Itachi felt like someone knocked the air out of him at those words, he wasn't able to move from the moment he saw his cousin but now he wouldn't dare even if he could.

"No, I won't, no one will and you won't hurt yourself either" The oldest raven responded in an almost suicidal sounding voice but tried his best to stay calm. He knew that even if he couldn't bring Shisui back, that he would probably never be the one he used to be, he had to assure that at least he wouldn't hurt anybody, because even if the chances were near zero that he would regain his sanity, the raven would never forgive himself if he hurt somebody. Obito knew that his cousin, his brother, would want him to stop him from hurting anybody.

" _Hurt me~! Torture me~!_ " The demon who used to be Shisui Uchiha purred into the other's ear as he leaned closer, trying to intoxicate him with the venom in his voice. He licked the others cheek before he whispered into the others ear, his following words only audible for the oldest raven. " _Break me~!_ "

The sick twisted laugh echoed through the walls once again as he dropped his head back into the pillow, the crazy eyes focused on the male above him, his insane grin getting wider as the other stopped responding and instead concentrated on pushing his limbs down.

" _I~ta~chi~!_ " Bored of the older raven the demon instead approached the younger one now, licking his bottom lip excited before biting it roughly, almost cutting into the sensitive skin with his sharp teeth. " _Kill me~! Pleeeease~! It would make me so happy if you'd kill me~!_ " He cooed in a voice so sweet it was sickening, it was then that the raven finally was able to move again and before he could even think of it his body started moving on its own and he started running. As fast as he could.

In a matter of seconds he was back to his own bedroom and under the warm covers of his bed, curling up to a ball and clenching his eyes shut. He didn't care anymore, he didn't care that he looked like a frightened five year old, he didn't care who saw him like this, all he wanted was to erase everything he saw in that room from his memories. A warm hand was running through his raven hair and a small frame moved closer to him, the loving touch of his mate however didn't had much effect on him, he was way too terrified.

"Ita…if you don't talk I can't make it better, un…" The nickname that only his mate used and the angelic sound of his voice, the complete opposite of the rotten demonic voice he heard from his cousin, gave him the feeling to at least be somewhat safe. His shaking wasn't that bad anymore and his breathing slowed down a little, his eyes still shut he turned towards his beautiful mate just to pull him as close as possible, inhaling the sweet scent of the godlike creature the heavens gave to him. Burying his face in the long blonde hair and holding him in an embrace that the raven would love to last forever, with every passing second he felt himself calm a little more, knowing his mate was safe, he was safe, the soft blonde strands under his lips as he kissed the top of his head, the sweet caramel scent that seemed to be a permanent feature of his mate ever since they found each other, the soft warm skin that was able to heal everything. He felt the shattered pieces of his hopes stick back together, the caramel of his mate's love was repairing his soul, and with every passing second he felt himself become stronger again. After what felt like hours of healing, he took a deep breath and let it out with a relaxed hum, kissing the top of his soul mate's head once again before feeling ready to speak.

"I love you" His low voice was calm and even if he didn't want to let go completely, he withdrew himself barely enough to look into those ocean blue eyes, lifting the other's face up gently by his chin with one hand while the other was still lingering around the angel's waist.

"I love you too, Ita" The angel whispered with a small smile, glad that he could calm his mate from whatever trauma he had suffered, the confession he got as reward making his blue orbs shine with happiness. Both closed their eyes as the distance between their lips was closed and sweet loving kisses were exchanged.

* * *

 _I didn't hurt anyone…I didn't hurt anyone…I didn't hurt anyone…_

The raven kept repeating this single thought over and over again in his head. At some point his sanity finally came back, all he knew was that he felt that familiar pain shot through his lower half. He didn't like the thought of his mate getting hurt, but at least it brought him back.

 _I didn't hurt anyone…I didn't hurt anyone…_

All these sick thoughts made him want to throw up, he would, but there was nothing he could throw up. He was thankful that Obito stopped him from carrying out any of those thoughts, the older raven held him pinned down for what felt like hours and Shisui didn't dare to check how long he actually lost control over his body.

 _I didn't hurt anyone…_

The pain that he got transferred from his mate however was different, it was the same pain, but he could feel something was off and for some reason Shisui felt suicidal. Once again his mate got hurt and he didn't do anything, apart from blurting out insane shit and giving the majority of his family a trauma.

 _I…didn't…._

Yeah…he did…his mate was hurt…again…and he didn't do anything. Itachi was permanently traumatized too, Obito would probably suck it up but he knew he hurt him too, Kakashi was hurt too…Everyone was hurt…and it was all Shisui's fault…

 _I…_

He clenched his eyes shut and covered his ears, there was not even a voice, he simply wanted to shield himself from the world. He tried, he honestly tried, but he couldn't hold back the tears anymore. The salty warm droplets run down his icy cheeks, leaving wet marks on the fabric covering his knees after a while when he pulled them close to his upper body. All this pain…the pain that wasn't even his pain…he felt it all…and it was too much…

...

To know that all this pain he felt wasn't his, but his mate's pain, made it even worse. He searched everywhere, but the closer he got to find him the further away he seemed to be. Every time he thought he had him, it wasn't him after all. He was nothing. A huge disappointment. To everyone.

...

He didn't want to give up…not like he did earlier…he didn't want to drag anyone down with him…he was sick of hurting the people he loved…he was sick of the person he loved the most being hurt so much…

...

Even if he would never meet him…he loved him…he truly did…he just wanted it to stop…he wanted his mate to stop hurting…no matter the costs…he would do everything to make him stop hurting…but it was too late…

...

He could feel the thick blood leaving his body. Drop by drop. Out of the two thick cuts along his forearms. It didn't even hurt when they showed up. This was it. This was the last time his mate would be hurting. And of course he couldn't feel it. Because the curse was cruel. Hot tears were falling from his cheeks into the puddles of blood that formed on the mattress.

 _I love you…_

* * *

 **Did you guys make it out alive?**

 **I hope so...**

 **If you did I would be happy about your review and thank you for reading!**

 **And don't worry I won't add notes to every chapter but this is the first and I'm curious. Did you like it? Did you hate it? Do you want me to jump off a cliff?**

 **Also feel free to send a message!**

 **Next chapter coming soon!**


	2. Hope

**Welcome to chapter two!**

 **Here a few chapter specific warnings, more notes at the end!**

 **Warning: rape, incest, child abuse, insanity, suicide, blood, language, yaoi** **(MxM)**

 **In case I forgot something I'm sorry, also don't like don't read please spend your time on things you like instead of bashing people even tho you've been warned!**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

~Hope~

The blonde haired boy was laying on the sheets of the large bed, his eyes focused on the ceiling of the dark room. His father told him to wait there, which really wasn't much of a problem, Yukine honestly preferred waiting in the bedroom and not making a sound over getting treated like a sex toy by the friends of his father. Whenever someone was here for a visit there were 2 possibilities: 1. The boy was forced to do everything the adults told him, mostly naked or dressed in some weird girly clothes or lately they liked seeing him wearing cat ears and a tail, the collar around his neck was a permanent anyway so he got pretty much used to that. They would make him drunk or sometimes drug him, after that he had to give them… _special treatment_ …or how his father would say: 'It's your duty as my son to make our guests feel good.' The sick bastard was doing all that to him since he was 5 years old and on his 8th birthday he had a special present for him…that was the first time someone else than his father touched him. The blonde boy was disgusted by the fact that he was the son of such a sick pervert, but he was used to the things he did by now. It hurt and it was nothing a father should ever do with his son, but Yukine got used to it long ago. The boy was now 13 and he honestly didn't care anymore, well…not that he didn't care but he couldn't do anything to make it stop, he tried, but whenever he fought back his father would only hurt him more or let his friends do even crueler stuff to him. So the blonde boy just let them have their way with him and hoped for it to be over soon. He started cutting about three years ago, it was his way to suppress the huge anger he felt towards the man and towards himself for not being able to escape this situation. However the second possibility when they had guests was not bad at all: He simply had to stay in the bedroom and wasn't allowed to make a sound. Acting like you don't exist is pretty easy when the only other option is getting fucked by pedophile strangers who found it amusing to make a 13 year old boy cry out in pain.

So there he was, staring at the ceiling, listening to his own breathing, wondering what was going on in the living room. He knew by now that his father was involved in a lot of illegal businesses, Yukine honestly didn't believe that a person with a normal life would be able to lock their son in for 13 years without anyone noticing. To be honest he didn't quite understand how anyone could do that, but then again the blonde never found any documents that even proved his existence, so if no one knew he existed it probably wasn't that hard to keep him a secret either. The only thing he ever found-

 **-BANG-**

The blonde jumped up in surprise, he had heard this sound before but usually there was a loud scream after that. So there were three possibilities: 1. the shot was only a warning, 2. the bullet didn't hit the target or 3. the target is now dead, Yukine honestly thought that the first option was most likely to be the truth. He still crawled under the blanket like his father had told him to, in case he heard a shot, but something was off. He heard footsteps coming closer, the young blonde was scared by now since he didn't hear the front door open. This was not normal and definitely not supposed to happen. He heard gun shots in the apartment before but usually either a scream was heard after that or the front door opening and closing, never even once did footsteps come closer to the room he was in.

"Serves him right, that sick bastard won't betray us again!" A male voice was heard outside and not too far away, the blonde boy curled up in the bed and hoped that the man wouldn't find him. It was dark in the room after all and Yukine shouldn't be seen under the blanket, if the man would check what's underneath he was screwed however…

"Just search through the rooms and take whatever looks expensive so we can get at least some of our money back!" Another male voice was heard from further away, the second man sounded stressed and the blonde boy assumed he just wanted to get the hell out of here.

 _So it seems like father is dead now..._ The boy thought, he honestly didn't care about it, he wanted the man to be dead for a long time already. The thing he did care about was how his life would continue. Would they kill him too if they found him? If not…how would his life continue? What would he do if they didn't find him? Where should he go? How was he supposed to live? Yukine never even once left this apartment, he didn't even know what the outside world really looked like. Sure he learned a lot of things from the books his father let him read, but was that enough to survive in the outside world?

Suddenly he heard the door to the room he was in being opened and his body froze in shock as well as he held his breath.

 _Don't move…they won't find me if I don't move…don't make a sound either and-_

The blanket was pulled away and he clenched his eyes shut.

 _FUCK!_

When he opened his eyes again he saw the man smirking at him, he was ugly, fat and truly disgusting, looking like the kind of person who lived his life surrounded by drug addicts and prostitutes which he probably did anyway.

"Look at that, what do we got here…" He mumbled staring up and down at the blonde boy whose lip quivered in fear. "Oi, come here for a second!" He shouted towards the open door, most likely to the other male left in the apartment. Said man didn't take long to do as he was told and had an annoyed look on his face when he entered the room, at least until he saw the boy cowering on the bed. The man's eyes widened and he looked at his partner in disbelief. "Never thought that bastard had a son, how about we have a little fun with him, eh? I mean it's a boy but…he's kinda cute, don't cha think? Maybe he can make up a little for the shit his father did, huh?" The disgusting man said and Yukine felt tears fill his eyes.

 _Of course…of course that's what they would do…_

"Are you serious?" The taller male asked, he looked like a normal person in the boy's eyes, like someone who lived a normal boring life, maybe had a wife and two kids, probably working as a teacher or something like that, not at all frightening. The kind of person that wouldn't want to be involved into something like this and considering his reaction and behavior the blonde was pretty sure he wasn't doing any of this out of free will. "It's an innocent kid!"

"Oh come on, don't be such a pussy, eh?" He drew his attention back to Yukine, tears already trailed down the boy's cheeks, he knew what would follow. He knew it too damn well… The disgusting male grabbed his face roughly and made him look into his eyes as he licked his lips in excitement. "Don't be like that, boy, you'll love it!"

The blonde clenched his eyes shut again as he felt the other's tongue on his cheek. All the thoughts from earlier were gone, all of them, he would honestly prefer to die over some scumbag touching him. Every single thing disgusted him about this man and he just wanted the other to take his nasty sweating hands off of him. When he slightly opened his eyes he met the gaze of the other, taller male and was literally begging him to do something. He just wanted this to stop and he hoped the other would help him, he looked like a good guy that just got dragged into something really bad and Yukine hoped his assumptions were right and that he would hear his prayers.

"We don't have time for this shit, leave him the fuck alone I highly doubt he will say anything!" The more trustworthy of the two intruders said and stepped a bit closer. His disgusting partner flicked his tongue and turned around to approach him before an evil grin spread across his face and a gun was pointed at the taller male.

"I said: Let's. Have. Fun. With. Him…or do I need to remind you what happens if you don't do what I say, eh?" At the words of his 'partner' he closed his eyes and swallowed thickly, sending his most apologetic look towards Yukine once he opened his eyes again. The young one sat up on the bed and looked down, there wasn't anything he could do but let them have their way with him. Again he wasn't able to escape this nightmare…

The obviously excited man pulled the blonde boy off the bed by his hair and Yukine fell to the floor on all fours, all he could see were the floor and the shoes of the other male, he didn't dare to lift his gaze.

He knew he wasn't strong enough to fight them, more importantly they had guns, even if the taller male would like to help him he knew the stranger wouldn't risk to get shot for him. The feeling of sweaty rough hands pulling down his pants along with his boxers was when he shut his eyes again, hot tears kept trailing down his cheeks and but he didn't say anything. He just let the other have his way with him, knowing it would only hurt more if he struggled.

The physical pain wasn't what hurt Yukine, he's been through way worse, but no matter how often he had been through it, rape simply isn't something you get used to. Even if he told himself over and over again that it would be over soon, that he has been through so much pain already, that he could endure it, no matter how often he felt like he could actually survive this and that one day everything would be fine, it was too much for the boy…

Not only did the feeling of the disgusting male thrusting into him make him feel nauseous, this whole situation was a nightmare. His father was dead, he had nowhere to go and one of the two strangers who killed his father was raping the already abused boy. It hurt. It hurt so much. Everything hurt and he didn't know how to stop it.

Yukine didn't know how much time has passed by, he didn't even want to know, the older male was still enjoying the young one's body and the blonde couldn't do anything but cry. He was afraid, even if the worst possibility already came true, he was afraid that once more it would get worse, that whatever crime he had committed in the eyes of god or whatever higher power there was, that this continuous punishment still wasn't enough.

He didn't dare to open his eyes, he just wanted to block out as much as possible of what was happening, that was until he felt the same rough hands from earlier wrap around him, his eyes shot open in horror when the hand started pumping his unwanted arousal. That was what he hated the most, his body's reaction, he hated it and still his body reacted like this.

"You like it that much, boy?" Feeling the other's hot breath next to his ear and the disgusting tongue trail along the shell of his ear was too much, the words echoing through the blonde's brain and the sickening feeling of the other inside him were way worse to everything he's ever been through. Maybe not physically, but he couldn't take this even one second longer.

The boy knew he had no change against the other but he at least hoped he would shoot him if he fought back so it would be over. Yukine didn't care anymore, he wanted this to stop. Now. There wasn't anything to live for anyway. So he screamed. He screamed his heart out, kicking the other with his hands and feet, but the other just started laughing and pressed him against the cold floor.

"Finally some reaction! Isn't it much more fun this way, eh?!" Laughing at the struggling boy he started choking the blonde, ending his screaming due to the lack of air, but he wouldn't give in anymore, if only for the hope to get shot the boy still threw kicks at the other, digging his nails deep into the his hands, cutting into the flesh and even causing the other to let go. The laughing eventually ended at some point and the boy was surprised when he actually managed to bite the male, however earning a hard punch in the face in exchange which ended with him crashing into the bedroom wall and falling to the ground.

He couldn't open his eyes, he couldn't move either, but he heard the fight that started after he fell to the ground. After what felt like minutes but was probably just a matter of seconds he could hear footsteps leaving the room and soon a door being slammed shut.

 _They…left…_

Yukine couldn't believe that they really just left without doing anything else, sure the taller one probably just wanted to get the fuck out of there and was probably more than thankful that he didn't had to continue watching his partner fucking a 13 year old, but they didn't even check if he really was dead. On the other side his whole body felt numb, except for his head that felt more like it was crushed.

Time passed by and at some point the boy lost consciousness, when he opened his eyes for the first time since the two strangers left, his vision was blurry at first, but after blinking a few times he realized he was still lying on the floor in the bedroom.

"Ahh…fuck…" Only when he tried to sit up he noticed just how much his head hurt, running his hand through his hair he realized that even if it hurt like hell there wasn't any blood. It took him a few more attempts until he could finally sit back up, of course only after pulling back up his pants and boxers that the two intruders obviously didn't care about being still pulled down to his knees when they left.

For what felt like an eternity he just sat there, a blank expression on his face, not thinking, not moving, one would even think he was a mannequin if the slight rising of his chest wouldn't have been there due to his breathing.

The shock however faded soon as sobs started falling from the boy's lips and his expression changed into one tainted with pain. He had no tears left but if he did they would probably never stop running down his cheeks.

 _It's over…it's over…it's over…_

Repeating this one sentence over and over again in his head, chanting it almost like a mantra the young blonde tried to calm himself. The problem was: he couldn't. They were gone, his father was dead, but what now? After all he really had no idea of the outside world. He had no idea where he should even start. If someone found him, what should he say? What if it would only get worse?

He had no energy left. He couldn't even handle the thought of getting hurt again, used or even worse. It scared him. The thought of not knowing what would await him if he left this apartment scared him to death.

Collecting the little life he had left in his weak body he got up, ignoring the immense pain that shot through his head, ignoring the dead silence, ignoring the blood, ignoring the dead body lying next to the couch. The carpet drenched in the thick substance, a huge paddle of it all around the corpse.

 _They shot him in the throat…probably right into the carotid artery…serves him right..._

"Bastard…" The blonde hissed, no matter how much he wanted to block everything out, he couldn't help but look at the frame of his father in spite. At least now he knew that he had a somewhat painful death, the shot wasn't what killed him, but it caused him to choke to death on his own blood.

Over and over again Yukine dreamed of finding the man dead, the image of his lifeless father kept him going and now here he was, soaked in his own blood on the floor. The boy couldn't resist the urge to take a closer look anymore, he had to be sure, leaning down to the corpse he extended a shaking hand towards the man. The body was still warm, but there was no breathing, no heartbeat, no life, a twisted smile appeared on the boy's face, a mixture of relief, anger and maybe a bit of melancholy, not because he had any positive emotions left towards his father, but he wished that he would've been able to take his life himself.

 _Bastard…_

Barely realizing how his hand tightened around the neck of the man he despised more than anything his thoughts kept circulating around all the things that were done to him. The images of his father lingering over the boy, the smell of strong liquor and cigars on him, feeling the weight on his body just from the memories alone.

 _You didn't deserve to die like this…a bastard like you should suffer...you should have suffered like I did…_

The rage grew more and more within the young boy and he felt the adrenaline flowing through his body, it just wasn't enough. He was dead, but how could death alone ever be enough to make up for all the pain he got, Yukine was truly disgusted with himself, for accepting the things he did, even if it was easier to stop fighting back, even if it hurt him less, he hated himself for not fighting more, no matter if it would have clearly been a hopeless fight.

 _It's not fair…_

Without thinking the boy silently stood up, his eyes widened he went to the kitchen, not knowing why he did what he did next, barely able to connect his actions with his thoughts he just let the fury take over his actions. Breathing heavily he found himself staring down at the corpse again, not remembering how he got back there or why the sharp tool was in his hand. Slumping down to his knees not only the man's eyes were lifeless but the golden orbs of the younger that were fixated on the blood soaked frame in front of him as well, all emotions faded from his face.

 _It's not…fair…_

Seconds felt like hours and it took the young blonde an eternity before he realized that the blade of knife he was holding was now deep inside his dead father's chest, only the handle he still cling to with both hands now was still showing. Soon the life returned to his features as he realized what he had done, for a moment he was shocked about his own actions however the abused child didn't waste a second thought on guilt. Maybe he was insane for doing this, maybe he should question his own actions more, but it didn't matter anymore. After all these years this was the first time he could finally let it out, all those emotions, all his pain, and with every time he felt the knife cut into the dead flesh of the man he felt a little lighter.

 _Suffer…you should have suffered…you didn't deserve to die like this…!_

Dark red now covered not only the floor and the corpse but the blonde boy too was soon soaked in it, his hands, his clothes, small drops running down his cheeks. All the strength he could possibly build up was used to stab the dead man he used to call father and the thickening liquid was splashing around them, the droplets painting everything red within a close range. The distorted grin on Yukine's face and his wide eyes slowly showing the pain, the adrenaline from his actions fading and tears building again in the young one's eyes. The blade slipping from his soaked hands when the first cry was heard, realizing that no matter how often he would stab the man he was already dead, there was no real satisfaction, nothing he could possibly do would ease his pain.

 _Why…it's not…fair…so why…_

The more time passed the faster the tears were flowing down the boy's cheeks, mixing with the blood before dripping down on the floor. What was he supposed to do now? He didn't know, he didn't know anything other than this life, no matter how much he wanted it to end, he never actually thought about what to do if it would be over. How do you live a normal life? What do you even do outside of this apartment? How do you get food? What happens if you get sick? Where should he even live?

His crying filled the room, getting louder until the sobs started to become screams, it was too much for him, no matter how much he wanted to live, no matter how much he dreamed of the day where he could finally be free, Yukine realized that this was more than he ever thought he would achieve and that it was enough. Knowing that he was able to survive his father, that he could actually escape, was enough for him, he had no energy left to try and live a normal life, too many things could happen, the risk of getting hurt all over again was too high.

Reaching for the tool he used just minutes ago to let his anger out on the corpse of his father he felt a lump in his throat as he swallowed thickly, exhaling the breath he didn't know he was holding. It wasn't because he had doubts, he wanted the pain to end, his life has been nothing but torture and after all the chances that he will be greeted with nothing but happiness if he leaves this apartment are almost nonexistent. For the first time he felt freedom, sure he would've loved to have a normal life, but he didn't need more than this, at least he was able to choose his end…and that was the moment he let the blade connect with his skin.

Without any more hesitation he pressed it against his slim wrist and sliced the soft looking flesh open all the way up to his elbow, pressing his eyes shut as he felt the stinging sensation, causing his hand to shake violently from the enormous pain. In order to distract himself from the cut he bit his lower lip hard, probably drawing blood too and took the knife into his other hand, the shaking of his injured arm wasn't very helpful but after a few attempts and one last deep breath he was able to perform the same action on his other arm.

As another amount of pain shot through his body he let the instrument slip through his fingers once again and fall to the ground with a clashing sound as the metal hit the floor. Both his hands were shaking and Yukine let himself collapse completely to the ground, his unsteady breathing echoing through the apartment, looking up at the ceiling while his blood mixed with his father's and his vision got blurry from both the pain and the endless stream of tears.

"Now it's all…over…" The blonde whispered as he felt the tiredness taking over his body, dragging him further and further away from the world he was in, into whatever afterlife was awaiting him. His whole body felt heavy as once again today crimson spread throughout the floor, a weak smile started to form on the boy's face as his eyes closed, not able to keep them open any longer he welcomed the darkness that devoured him. Nothing mattered anymore, this was his end and all his pain would be gone, so he smiled. A smile that was forgotten long ago, the smile of a young innocent boy who just wanted to be happy.

 _It's finally…over…_

Maybe it was the blood loss, maybe he was hallucinating, but he was almost sure the last thing he noticed before he slipped completely into the nothingness, that welcomed him so happily, was the sound of a door. Not able to hear to voices anymore or even think about whose footsteps he thought he heard, Yukine finally felt how everything disappeared…

 _About 1 hour later…_

The silver haired man was standing outside of the hospital, not even caring about the fact that people could clearly see his face since he didn't wore his mask. He needed a cigarette, he really did.

Puffing out the smoke into the late evening air he watched it fade in the wind, his eyes lidded, his expression showing exactly just how exhausted he was. Maybe it seemed odd to some people that the famous Kakashi Hatake would give in to something like smoking, usually he would do it secretly, rarely, he tried to quit but as Shisui's condition got worse the pain of seeing his friend fall apart only made his need for nicotine even stronger.

After hours of watching the worrisome raven and preventing him from hurting himself or others, said raven blacked out at some point, the silver haired man and his mate had no idea why, but decided to leave him in his room, checking on him every 15 minutes to see if he regained his consciousness. It left them dumbfounded as the raven suddenly stopped screaming and fell into what seemed like a deep slumber, but they were glad that the madness was over for a while. At least that's what they thought. The sixth time they checked on him they couldn't help but wish for him to go insane again, scream, threaten them, just to do something, no matter what, instead they found him unconscious in a puddle of blood.

They instantly called Tsunade and told her the situation, his heart was still beating but it was weak and they didn't waste any time bringing him directly to the hospital. Thinking everything would be fine they felt relief, at least until they heard the famous iryo-nin cursing loudly. Not knowing what was going on inside the examination room they started to panic again until about 10 minutes later she left the room and told them what exactly made her lose her cool.

The cuts weren't Shisui's doing, but his mate's. No matter how hard she tried they wouldn't heal. So she had no other choice but to try it with more traditional methods by stitching the wounds up and wrapping it up in bandages. Knowing too well that even if they stop the bleeding, if the raven's mate died, he would too.

Shisui and his mate had a very rare kind of connection, one that was usually praised as a gift of the gods, in his case however it once again proved that the Uchiha curse was cruel. Not only did every injury his mate got transfer to his own body, no matter how small it was, but due to the curse the injury could only heal in a natural way. You can stitch it up and wrap it up in bandages but no jutsu could fasten up the healing process. As for the Uchiha himself, before the deadline was reached or in this case, before his mate died, the curse would help keeping him alive, he can't die from an illness or the injuries of his other half as long as they stay alive.

There was nothing they could do anymore, it was over. Obito was on the verge of crying and Kakashi knew his mate well enough to know that soothing words and sugarcoating would only end in making him cry AND burning down the hospital, so he went outside. Smoking. Trying his best not to cry himself. Blocking every tiny bit of emotion.

As soon as Tsunade came out of the examination room and explained the situation to the silver haired man and his mate, one of the nurses rushed towards them and told her that there was an emergency that couldn't wait even a second longer. That said she and the nurse were darting off to wherever the iryo-nin's help was needed, Obito and Kakashi were left alone with their worries. It felt almost like back then, a long time ago when the two of them were here in this very hospital, that day he would never forget.

' _You will always have each other, and as long as you two are happy, I will be happy too, just remember I'm forever there with you in your hearts.'_

A melancholic smile appeared on the man's face, the sentence he kept remembering whenever he was in pain, those words that built him up so often. After all those years it still hurt, to remember her smile, how she held their hands when she said those words, here in this very hospital almost half his life ago.

Rin really had a talent to cheer people up, not just him and Obito, she was like a magnet, whenever someone felt bad or was fighting she seemed to find them and built them up again, always there at the right time and place. His expressions softened when he remember that one time when they were younger, Kakashi just recently moved to the mansion at that time soon after they found out that he was the raven's mate, Sasuke had just been born…

* * *

 _14 years ago…_

" _He was soooo cute! And little Itachi seemed so happy too! His eyes were all shiny and he was smiling so much! He will be such a good big brother I can tell!" The young girl's excitement about the new Uchiha member was openly shown as she talked to one of her best friends, Obito cheerful as he was of course jumped around just as much as Rin. The past few days the whole clan seemed to be in a better mood, the birth of a young boy, one might think people wouldn't be happy of another cursed child being born, however a new life was even thoroughly celebrated in the raven family._

" _I'm so jealous that you were able to see him! You're so lucky! I want to see him too!" Falling down on the big couch in the living room the young raven looked at his friend, his crimson eyes following her steps as she kept dancing._

 _However no matter how cheerful the atmosphere was one person couldn't convince himself to join the conversation, that person was no other than Kakashi Hatake. A young boy with silver hair, half his face covered by a black mask to hide his mouth and nose, not only because of his sensitive sense of smell but also to hide. A big scarf around his neck so he could hide even more, not because he was generally very shy, a bit maybe but not enough to feel the need to disappear, no he was hiding because there was one thing he didn't want anyone to find out, especially not one person. Unfortunately that plan had been crushed to many little pieces just a few weeks ago at the huge birthday party of Obito Uchiha, the very person he didn't want to find out. What you ask? Oh just the fact that the young silver haired boy was indeed trying with all means to hide the fact that he is one of the males that had been born with a chromosome abnormality, resulting in him being able to give birth. Some people might call them omegas, others might call them 'natural uke' but no matter what people want to call it, being like that was nothing Kakashi was proud of. To him it was ashaming, he was strong, respected for his strength, people finding out about it could ruin him, since males like him were treated let's say…differently. If you're not married before the age of 18 you are considered a prostitute, if you're not a virgin you're basically worthless. Of course not everyone was like that, but all in all it was dangerous to live alone if the wrong people find out about it. It being so rare makes it interesting to many, one can make good money out of something like that. That however wasn't Kakashi's problem, his problem was being Obito's mate, because of some curse that seemed to run in every male Uchiha and now he was forced to spend the rest of his life with him, marry him one day and it was even necessary to get intimate during the wedding night latest._

 _Luckily the raven seemed to be a much nicer guy than he thought, they were still young, Obito's deadline was his 17_ _th_ _birthday, he just recently turned 12 so they had enough time, time the other boy desperately needed to get used to this and somehow accept his fate. The problem wasn't even that he hated the raven so much, he did, but the problem was that eventually he wasn't quite honest with himself about his feelings for his newly found mate._

" _What are you standing here watching them like that?" Jumping in surprise Kakashi slipped and fell onto the group, right into the room where his mate and his best friend were, the two he was spying on secretly from behind the doorframe. A shocked expression on his face he stared back and forth between the older of the two ravens and the giggling girl._

" _Are you ok?!" Obito hurried to his former rival, a worried look on his face and kneeling down next to him, trying to help the silver haired boy stand up. Said boy just quickly stood up on his own, wanting to avoid as much physical contact as possible, hoping that the slight blush on his face wasn't visible and the mask would hide his embarrassment about the situation. The fact the raven was worrying about him that much when a few weeks ago he would have just laughed at him somehow made him feel both annoyed and tingly._

" _Am fine, Obito, and you...! Don't just sneak on people like that!" Turning his attention to the other raven haired boy that caused him to fall Kakashi quickly fixed his scarf before crossing his arms in front of his chest. He seemed familiar but he couldn't recall ever actually meeting the other, he didn't know his name either, and even if he knew he could simply recall Obito's memory and probably he himself should know who he's talking to the masked boy was too on edge because of the latest events to care about forgetting someone._

" _Look who's talking~" The young raven said with a happy smile, he was as cheerful as the other it seemed but in a less annoying way, not that hyper either. "I'm Shisui, I saw you a few times but we never actually talked, I would have said hello at the party but I thought you had enough things on your mind back then!" Blinking at him the silver haired boy simply nodded and pulled his scarf higher, the maturity of the raven surprised him but he was glad at the same time, his mate was tiring enough he wouldn't be able to handle living with another person like that._

* * *

 _Present time…_

 _I really just wanted to die back then… good old times…_

A chuckle left the man as he remembered how he met the raven, closing his eyes he enjoyed thinking about it a bit longer, too long since suddenly he felt a burning pain.

"Ahh…damnit…" He threw the rest of the cigarette that was the reason for the unpleasant feeling into the ashtray and blew some air on his slightly burned finger. It wasn't bad but still annoying, Kakashi didn't even remember the last time he was so lost in thought that this happened.

In the end he decided that even if he couldn't say anything to make it better, he should at least be with his mate and hold him, Obito shouldn't feel left alone in a situation like this.

Not really paying attention to his surroundings the silver haired man went inside but got torn from his thoughts soon after he entered the building when suddenly a small frame bumped into him. At first he just wanted to mumble a short 'sorry' to whoever had crashed into him, since he didn't watch his steps it was probably his fault, but curiosity caught the better of him as he looked at the obviously terrified blonde boy.

"Kakashi, stop him!" A familiar voice was heard and the young one instantly tried to make a run for it, but the man was fast enough to grab the little boy by his shoulders and strong enough to hold him still. The frightened look of the blonde worried the other and he smiled at him apologetically, even if he didn't really understand why anyone would ever try to run out of a hospital. It took only a few more second for Tsunade to get to them, relieved to see the boy wasn't able to run away. "Thank you!"

"Let me go!" Kakashi could feel the younger tense under his hold and sent a confused look towards the doctor, who obviously tried to find the best way to explain this whole situation. However taking a closer look at the small figure in front of him realization hit the older male.

There was an emergency that couldn't wait even a second just after Tsunade treated the raven.

 **The boy had bandages all over his forearms.**

 **Shisui's forearms were cut open when they found him.**

 **This boy was Shisui's mate.**

"I was about to tell you but as soon as I left the room he ran away!" The iryo-nin said when she noticed the hope that flickered in Kakashi's eyes, said man however couldn't care less about the doctor at the moment as he smiled the happiest smile in what felt like forever.

 _Shisui's mate…_

* * *

 **I'm terribly sorry for that! Unfortunately a lot of things happened in my life and I had no concentration, energy or motivation whatsoever to even look at the document, I really really do have big plans for this but I've been through a hard time and hopefully from now on I can continue it again**

 **Please leave a review if you liked it**

 **Thank you for everyone who is still reading and following this story it means a lot!**


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